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Life is not about getting to the destination, life is what happens to you on the way there. 

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Smiths in Florida minus 1

You're back? You still read this thing? I am flattered.

About 6 months ago I posted that my life was going through a major upheaval and I would be taking a hiatus from this blog. I'm still not sure if I will post often, but blogging is a catharsis fro me and I miss it - so who knows. I figured I eneded to update those of you who still read/check on me what is going on in my life to cause me to leave so abruptly.

There's no easy way to say this so I will just say it.

I'm divorcing DH.

As to the why of it all, I really dont want to go into it here. Send me a line and we can talk about it sometime if you are really interested. I will just say that this blog painted a rosy picture of my life that was not all roses. I've written about stuff that I never wrote about on here - maybe sometime I will cross link it. Maybe not. it's intense - the other stuff. it's really hard to write about. Lots of stuff I never admitted to myself as well. But I'm dealing, and working through it.

In some ways now that he's out of the picture things ar ebetter. In other ways things are worse. I just spent an hour and a half on the phone with the electric company arguing with them about my account because they insist on debiting the old checking account that is closed and NOT the enw one. They can't fix the saved bank account information, and they will not refund the "fee" they put on the account for the "NSF". If they would have used the account information that I gave them, there would have been no problem. When I called on Friday concerned that they still hadnt taken their money, if they had LET me confirm the account they tried to use, there would have been no problem. But no - they tell me to wait till monday, I find out they DID use the wrong information, and I'm hit with a $50 charge that COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED which they will NOT CREDIT ME WITH. I went through three layers of management over there and nobody is helping me. I seriously hate FPL. HATE THEM.

AGH can you say tangent? Sorry about that. Where was I? Oh yes. The divorce. The kids are taking it fairly well, Firstborn keeps skipping school, and I can't figure out why - I think it's because he wants to anger me. It's not making me mad, its just making me sad. he's a good kid, he knows better - yet I cant keep him there. I thinkhe's going to fail this year due to his absences. I dont know what to do about it. I take him there - we talk abou tnot skipping, I've pulled priveliges, I've assigned extra chores, but he does it anyway. i wish I knew what to do to help him.

The girls are doing okay. Sometiems I fall apart and just cant do much of anything... they really help me when that happens. I appreciate it so much.

I am battling a really bad case of the depressions.... I spook most of it away and am mostly happy but now and then I lose it and things just collapse. I am hoping that as time goes on that the collapsing will happen less and less. I'm also hoping that if I force myself to blog again that maybe it will help. I usually feel better after writing.

As to where this blog will go? Who knows. I will try to post regularly, but I doubt it's going to be the daily pace I had from before. I dont even know if I can make another post after this one. I just plain dont know.

What I do know is this: I am still hurting from the 13 years I spent with DH and still very lonely. I thought the lonely part would go away when I made him leave the house, but nope - it's still here. I'm less hurting now that he's gone though. I dont cry every day. And that's a good thing, no matter how small.

Okay - I have to go pick up a sick child from school, finish straightening out my electric bill, write a letter of complaint to the head of FPL whoever he is and move onward with work whenever I make it into the office. I think I'm going ot have to take the day off to finish all of this because I cant leave my child home alone and I cant take them to work with me if they are sick.

one normal day, that's all I ask for. Just one.

Someday, I might get it. Maybe. I hope.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Indefinite hiatus

I will be on indefinite hiatus for a while. I am going through personal upheaval and need to focus on other things - if you check in now and then I might post somethign or other but right now i am mostly just going to say goodbye to this blog for the time being and I might resule again later when the dust has settled. Don't worryk, it will be a good thing in the long run, though it feels likethe workd is ending fir me right now. I will be around, and if you leave me a comment, I will read it, though i may not respond. I love all you guys, especially those of youwho read my ramblings on a daily basis - that was so encouraging!

I plan to keep writing, but not right away.

See you all around the net... Farewell!

Monday, October 02, 2006

I'm still alive

I keep meaning to blog but I haven't been motivated. I've been kind of depressed lately and feeling kind of BLAH. I've been working too much and the weather is killing me now that we are subject to it's mercy on a daily basis and did you know - Florida is FREAKING HOT? Not just hot, but FREAKING HOT? Yes, it's true. Air Conditioning is a definite neccesity - and one I can't afford to replace yet. Yep - it's broken - we've been surviving on frequent showers and box-fans. The house looks like crap cause it's too darn hot to clean... but we are working on that in the early morning and late evening.

My glasses snapped in half. Did I mention that? Probably not - I haven't posted in so long. I'd spent a chunk of money 5 years ago on glasses that were the bendy twisty kind so they wouldn't get ruined if I fell asleep in them (Usually happens every night while I read a book) Well, I took them off to clean and OOPS! Right across the bridge. DH wanted to put a gob of steel putty there to hold them but all I could think of was "How nerdly!". So - I rubber banded the halves together around the nose pads (lord knows that was just SO much more attractive) and wore those for two days until I could get to an eye doctor. By the way - if you ever break oyur glasses near here - I have a FABULOUS recommendation for you. They didn't make me take an eye exam, They gave me a discount (I think they felt sorry for me with the rubber band and all) and they had them ready in an our - just took the prescription from my existing glasses. WOO! Now, I'm wearing rectangle ones, I'll post a picture sometime, they don't look bad.

Cute convo with Youngest I've been meaning to post:
Mom, am I part indian?
It's native american dear, and yes you are
how much?
Um, not much, I think it's an eighth
So the rest of me is Pilgrim?

Another cute convo with someone from WoW (World of Warcraft game)
Can I have some silver?
ME: Um, no
Please? Please? I will be your friend in the game!
ME: Um, no
Please? I really need it, I will pay you back!
ME: Um, no. How old are you anyway?
I'm 13
ME: Ahhh, that explains it. My son is 13. Here - take the silver but remember beggars generally don't make friends in games like this.
NO WAY! You're a DAD?
ME: LOL! Nope, it's worse. I'm a MOM!

Other tidbits:
The rose I thought died in the drought? it's blooming. It's yellow. it's gorgeous!

Chocolate mint pop-tarts taste awesome from the freezer.
(Note to self - write a thank you note to spell-check inventor - I just wrote pop-tards instead of pop-tarts, that led to all sorts of funny visuals in poor taste)

Work is thinking of having a seminar at an unusual location: a marine-life aquarium. I thought the perfect slogan would be "Small Division seminars, Trainings with a porpoise!"

Speaking of small division, I love my company - it's good for lots of chuckles. Someone at Parent Company replied to a five year old e-mail that had Small Divisions e-mail distribution list on it, as well as all other small division's email distribution. So - everyone got it. No biggie - misdirected e-mail, just delete it and be done. Right? Wrong. The next 6 hours involved a flurry of "Why did I get this?", "Please take me off your list" and "I think you replied to all, you shouldn't do that" from other employees at Parent Company. All of us (well the ones I talked to anyway) here at Small Division thought it was highly amusing. :)

That is all for now - I will try to post more often, really I will.

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