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Life is not about getting to the destination, life is what happens to you on the way there. 

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Well, I survived

Dear minivan that I cut off on the highway when I realized I almost missed my exit, I am SO sorry. It was 5am and I only had three hours of sleep and it was dark and those little white dashes on the highway are hyptnotic despite a blaring radio and ice cold airconditioning blowing on your face.... Thank you for not hitting me or even honking.

Dear person who posted signs directing people to the airport - may your deity bless you! If it werent for those signs exactly the right distance for a paranoid person who is totally lost to freak out that she missed a sign only to see the next one.... The adrenaline from all 12 freak-outs really kept me awake when I needed it most!

Dear airport, please forgive me for driving past the parking garage road and through the main entrance to the airport, not just once, but TWICE. You had signs clearly marking the parking garage road, I am sorry that I did not anticipate it being an "exit" on the left rather than the right like all the others.

Dear airline attendant - thank you for bringing me more water and more water and after I pestered you again, you still brought me more water, with a smile. The smile took the cake. I mean how much water should someone drink on a flight anyways? I'd be raising my eyebrows at me if I had to keep bringing water like you did. You took it in stride and just kept the water flowing, thank you!

Dear architect of the Atlanta airport, thank you for putting a restroom RIGHT AT THE EXIT OF THE PLANE.

Dear airplane designers of the first airline I flew on yesterday: 4 more inches. PLEASE. I'm six foot tall. 4 more inches is almost a requirement if I want to disembark the plane in a pain-free manner.

Dear United airlines. Thank you for 4 more inches. It made the flight so much more pleasant to not have sharp table-tray attachments digging brutally into my kneecaps. I actually walked when I left your plane! AND the woman in front of me actually reclined and I WAS NOT HURT BY IT. Thank you ever so much!

Dear Canada, You people are too nice, eh? Everyone is so sweet and really helpful and really nice and smiling and happy all the time that I had a really good time!

Dear US Border patrol: smile. The frown lines are sinking into your face and it's not appealing. And, yes, I brought snack food for the plane, I have one 6 ounce gatorade bottle and a 10 ounce package of dried fruit and a granola bar. Yes you can inspect them. No I did not visit a farm on my way to the airport, No I am not smuggling grashoppers or anything else weird like that in my clothing. Yes I am aware of the sniffer dogs. Yes that's my real birth certificate, no I didn't have time to get a passport made up, you already have my drivers license and no I do not have anything else in my backpack. Remember, service with a smile - it's the attitude that makes it a sucky job.

Dear O'hare airport - You are the COOLEST AIRPORT EVER. Where else in teh world can I go to see plaster cows in a Chicago road-worker uniform with a hardhat, and then walk about 100 yards to see a real WWII airplane, and then turn the corner to see a HUGE dinosaur skeleton, and then turn another corner to see the COOLEST HALLWAY EVER. I have never had so much fun simply by walking through an airport. Spend a three hour lay-over at O'hare? Any-time baby!

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