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Life is not about getting to the destination, life is what happens to you on the way there. 

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Little known laws

1 - the amount of mucus a nose will produce is inversely proportionate to the amount of tissues on hand. IE: you need 'em and you don't have 'em.

2 - Alarm clocks cannot be heard through a marshmallow/cotton-filled ear and Nyquil haze. You WILL oversleep. By quite a bit.

3 - Showers can be taken in under 5 minutes.

4 - 5 minutes of shower steam will loosen you up enough to hack a lung for the other 15 minutes you would have normally spent in the shower.

5 - The amount of traffic on the roads is direcly related to the urgency of your destination. (got 3 minutes to get to work on time? Hah!)

6 - When your 15 year old car starts sounding like the Nutty Professors car in the original movie "Flubber" (beeblyboobly-bubblybibbly-putt-putt) as you drive down the road, and when you hit the gas it sounds like BAM-BAM-WHHEZYBAM-WHEEZE it's probably time to take it to the mechanic to see if it can be saved. At the very least you should be able to get an ETA of car-death.

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