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Life is not about getting to the destination, life is what happens to you on the way there. 

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Parenting: the Horrors and Hilarity

Last night I recieved a phone call at work -
"Uh, honey, we might need to go to the emergency room"
"Middlechild might have a broken thumb"
"Okay, I'm on my way home now, I'm literally walking out the door so ice it and I'll look at it when I get there"

Turned out that Middle child and Firstborn werre wrestling in the house when Firstborn flipped Middle child over and she landed the wrong way on her thumb. By the time I got home, she was in too much pain for me to feel comfortable with her waiting it out. I suspected a sprain rather than a break - but oh, the pain! The Pa-HA-HAIN! So... we all piled into the car and drove to the emergency room.

Three hours, two bags of ice chips, two X-rays and one splint later, we were on our way home. It's just a sprain and she's almost back to moving it around like normal again, but she's got a fist full of gauze and tape giving her semi-permanent thumbs up. She's also got an official doctors excuse from gym class and got to see her own bones on the x-ray so I suppose that was cool for her. I told her next time she wanted to see some bones to just ask and I will google them on the internet - it's a ton cheaper.

Oh, you have got to read about DH's morning, this is too good not to blog.

Early this morning I heard the following through my sleep haze:

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! YIPE YIPE HOOOOOOOWWWWWWWLLLLLLL woof woof WOOF BARK BARK BARK! What happened? SOB SOB Hooooowwwwwwwwwllllll Are you ok? BARK BARK Is anyone bleeding? HOOOOOWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLL Is Pedro hurt? BARK BARK BARK sob sob Get the dogs out of there! HOOOOOWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLL BARK BARK Okay then, I guess she's fine.

I almost got up but the majority of the words were spoken by my Dh and I figured that he had it all well under control. I hit the snooze on my alarm and got another 15 minutes of much needed sleep. Later that morning I asked him what happened and he explained. Shamefully, I laughed my head off. I'm still chuckling right now.

You see, I have lots of animals in my house. My animals are sneaky. Particularly the cats. They like to hide in dark crevices and sleep. Particularly crevices where the dogs can't snuffle their nose in and BARKBARK-IFOUNDACAT-BARKBARK-OHBOY-BARKBARK!

So back to the story here - it seems that one of my cats (still not sure which one it was) had crawled into Youngest's dresser and was sound asleep. Youngest went to her dresser this morning and pulled open the dresser drawer and got a pair of pants, thoroughly scaring the daylights out of the cat sleeping in the drawer. The cat jumped out at her and sent her screaming and wailing down the hallway. (Want some fun? Try all new Cat-in-the-drawer! More fun than a Jack-in-the-box! Operators are standing by....)

However, in the process of leaping out of the moving drawer in terror, the cat snagged a claw on the dresser drawer and was dangling by one paw within inches of the VERY interested dogs. She began howling in misery.

Now my dogs aren't that stupid, but they aren't all that bright either. They know that the cats will eat them alive if they terrorize them enough, but this cat was helpless and the opportunity - OH! the opportunity, well, she could not be passed up. So the barking commenced - loudly and obnoxiously - with the cat howling in-between, my daughter wailing in her startled surprise, and DH hollering IS ANYONE HURT??? IS ANYONE BLEEDING??? (Because, by god, blood means pain, and the noise was enough to warrant pain from someone somewhere)

So - noone was hurt and noone was bleeding, and DH goes into the room to help save the poor cat from being taunted mercilessly by the dogs who correctly sense they have the advantage this time. I kind of lost it at this part of the tale - the rest is kind of vague to me because I was laughing so hard - but I think it went like this: Dh tried to release the cat from it's one-armed prison, but the kids wouldn't keep the dogs out of the room, which scared the cat into flipping herself up and out of there on her own and skittering off to hide.

Funny? You bet! Feeling a tiny bit guilty for laughing? A little. Feeling really guilty for hitting snooze and letting DH handle this? Not at all - do you know how many mornings like this he's slept through?

Ahhhhh - just another normal event in the Smith household. Don't'cha wish you lived here? HA


Blogger Cate said...

Your life would make a great sit-com.
Thanks for the prayers for my Hub. Cate

4/19/2005 10:15:00 PM  

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