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Life is not about getting to the destination, life is what happens to you on the way there. 

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

how to keep kids happy

Stock up on lik-m-stix and Freez-r-pops. Offer these items in exchange for a chore. When the chore is not completed, pull out that 60in blow up wading pool that you were hoarding. Remind firstborn he needs to go poo-scooping in the back yard. When he complains, threaten to take the pool back because there will be nowhere to put it once it's blown up. (he doesn't know it was on sale!) Smirk while he scoops poop. Commence blowing up the pool. Blow and blow and blow.... wait for the dizziness to pass, repeat. Fill pool with water. Allow random splashing and screams. Break up fights, get two sopping wet hugs, skim grass clippings from the water, then finally run everyone inside for dinner.

Nobody is maimed, bleeding or bruised. It was a good night.

EDIT: How to keep the author happy - laugh hysterically at the post just written because prior to this edit, everywhere it should have said the word pool, the word poop was written instead. "commence blowing up poop" "Fill poop with water" "60in blow up wading poop that you were hoarding".

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