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Life is not about getting to the destination, life is what happens to you on the way there. 

Friday, July 22, 2005

Bad news...

I pulled a muscle in my back. Apparently it's a very useful muscle because it hurts every dang time I breathe. So - my beathing and walking and such is punctuated by gasps and grunts - because you know - it catches me off guard all the time.

Inhale (Gasp! Oh the pain!)
wow now it feels okay
Exhale (OW OW OW!)

I was only re-arranging the new (to me) patio furniture. Was not lifting it properly which was probably my first mistake. I had firstborn put the pieces out on the front porch for me and then later on I went out there to re-arrange them. I was scooting the loveseat when there was a huge CRASH from below it. I knew instantly that it was the porch vase that I try to keep near the door. WHY on earth he put it underneath the loveseat I have no clue. SO - I'm leaned over the loveseat, head twisted to one side - hollering at Firstborn for being ever so brilliant and hiding the porch vase UNDER the furniture when I go to lift it up and heave it out of the way so I can sweep up all the glass shards.

OOOF "Why would you ever ....Ungh..... want to put the vase UNDER .......mmmmgh.... the furniture Firstborn! uuuuungh......... And WHY didn't you warn me when.... OWOWOWOWOWOWAAAAAAITHURTSITHURTSICANTSTANDUP"

You ever see the cartoons where the guy throws his back out and then has to do everything from a sitting position - even walking? Welll. um, HI! It happens! There wasn't enough words in me to describe this kind of pain. This was beyond words - this was silent scream pain.

Well. So. I'm alive - but hurting. I have a crazy sunburn from yesterday in the car with the sunroof open. I had a tanktop on and approximately half the exposed skin was burnt. Nice neat line from the shadow too..... Oh - and we have fleas. So I'm itching.

I'm limping to the store tomorrow for some aloe and some bug bombs and flea shampoo.

Fleas... heh. Note to self - next time - don't skimp on the advantage. It's always flea season here in Florida. Reminds me of an old camp song I learned as a kid. If you know it - let me know because nobody I talk to remembers a song like it. It's a Neat-o repeat-o which means you have one leader and the rest is an echo.

Flea!
Flea!
Flea Fly!
Flea Fly!
Flea Fly Lebista!
Flea Fly Lebista!
Koom-a-ladda koom-a-ladda koom-a-ladda beasta!
Koom-a-ladda koom-a-ladda koom-a-ladda beasta!
Oh nono no not lebista!
Oh nono no not lebista!
Eenie meenie decimeanie ooh walla walla meanie! Ex-a-meanie xylomeanie ooh walla wa!
Eenie meenie decimeanie ooh walla walla meanie! Ex-a-meanie xylomeanie ooh walla wa!
A beat billy ope bope bobope bo-deet-n-dot hot chihuahua... YEEEHAW!
A beat billy ope bope bobope bo-deet-n-dot hot chihuahua... YEEEHAW!

I'm teaching it to my kids, but they can't get past the fifth repeat. The last two really throw them for a loop.

Oh - yet another thing - it's spider season again. I'm not getting banana spiders this year though - I'm getting these little horrifyingly hairy monsters that are fiercely territorial. Really. Put a newspaper down in the backyard and placed a metal stand on it for spray painting today - pissed about five of the little buggers off. I'm getting ready to spray paint and I see that the papers are crawling with spiders already - at least three in a 4 sq ft area of newspaper. They are all hopping around like "What the heck is going on here!" So - of course - I turned them white. A couple got away as soon as they realized the newspapers were there to protect the grass - which they call home - and that the paint didn't feel so good on the hairy legs.... but I got a couple of them.

Oh - and one more thing - the internet here is really flaky all of a sudden. At about 9:30am it starts to slow down and by 10:30 it's gone. It's not back until 7:00pm at night. It's been doing this for over a week. DH has been going round and round with them. Nobody knows what's going on. I flat out told them that I will NOT be paying for service I cannot use. They promised to credit me for the downtime. I don't care so much about that - I wanna know when it will be reliable again! I like me some internet fixes during the day.....

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