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Life is not about getting to the destination, life is what happens to you on the way there. 

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Eye openers

My kids continually open my eyes. See, they get these little toothpicks and one of 'em holds my head still while the others prop them open.... Of course I'm kidding. I don't make them do that, they volunteer.

Seriously however, they always make me look at things from a different point of view. Today, middlechild overslept and missed the bus - so everyone piled into Mom's taxi and I drove them to school. On the way to school she's telling me how she supposes that she will talk to New Friend on the way home on the bus. She's telling me how nice New Friend is and then she says sadly, "But we won't get to play after school ever".

What? Why ever not? I'm sure that I can meet New Friend and her parents and we can arrange something. If she rides your bus she can't live that far away.
"You don't like her"
HUH? I love kids, what makes you think I don't like her? I've never met her.
"Her mom is the mean lady at the bus stop"
I see.

No I suppose we won't be arranging play dates with that child. I can barely tolerate her mother's presence at the bus stop. Middlechild continued talking about New Friend and how they have to pretend to not be friends so New Friend's mother won't see them talking and get mad and yell at New Friend.

Middlechild, I always see Mean Lady at the bus stop, but I don't always see New Friend. Does New Friend live with her father some times or does she have music lessons or something?
"No, she just sleeps in the morning"
So Mean Lady goes to the bus stop without her?!?
"Yeah, sometimes New Friend sleeps in so late that she has to get a ride to school. Mean Lady won't wake her up in the morning because she's in 3rd grade and she's old enough to do it herself so Mean Lady goes to the bus stop first to wait for New Friend."

That made me more upset than you guys will ever know just by reading this. I don't preach on other parenting styles, but c'mon! I thought the girl wasn't hers because they only rarely bring her to the bus stop with them. When your neighbors are questioning whether your child is really your child because of your behavior towards that child, SOMETHING is wrong!

Middlechild?
"Yeah?"
Go ahead and be friends with her. We probably don't want to let Mean Lady know that you are friends though. Oh, and be aware that you guys will probably never get to play after school because I won't let you go over there and she'll probably never get to come over to our house, but I think that little girl could probably use a good friend. So you go ahead and be friends with her.
"Thanks Mom"

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My heart aches for that child. I'm glad you told your daughter to go ahead and be her friend. Kids need all the support they can get when they have parents like that. Cate

8/10/2005 04:58:00 PM  
Blogger Billy said...

Profundity from the little one! I really enjoyed reading this. You wrote it very well!

8/11/2005 08:23:00 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

Holy moley. Back here in the old hood, all of our local tv stations are covered by a shocking story of three teens, two girls and a boy, from Middlebury IN took part in kidnapping one of their mothers and took her to a corn field and shot her. They keep showing these kids mugs shots. The boy mugged for his mug shot, and now the news shows him mugging being led into the courthouse. They are so despondant. We went to school with a few characters like this... kids who's mothers let them know they were a constant burden and they didn't want nothing to do with them. They're so young yet they believe they have nothing to loose. Unfortunately now they were drawn to murder to get the attention they so desperately craved.

8/11/2005 02:01:00 PM  

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