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Life is not about getting to the destination, life is what happens to you on the way there. 

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Hi, my name is Karry....

..... and I am an (gulp) overdramatizer/overreacter.

When I was very small, my mother tells me, I fell off a merry go round and skinned my knee. She said my screaming and wailing brought her from (let me get her emphasis right) Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay the other side of the park near the picnic benches. She will tell you I wailed like a siren (mmmmmwwwwaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA) but let me tell you that it wasn't in the least bit siren-like. So - there I am - spilled off the merry-go-round and screaming like a banshee, ,and there she is, imagining broken bones and blood squirting everywhere running as fast as she can towards me. I gathered a crowd of people by the time she got there. You know the kinds - the ones who compulsively look for the blood at car accidents. Only - there was no blood. Just a tiny scrape. Mom was embarassed, and I have never lived the tale down.

My mother would also tell you about my fear of dentists. Every time I have a dentist appointment I work myself up into such a ball of stress that all the dentist has to do is look at me cross eyed or leave me alone for too long and I'm a gibbering pile of snot and tears. I may come away from it cavity free, but definitely through the emotional wringer.

This doesn't even touch on my fear of shots and needles. At age 4 (I think?) it took two nurses plus my mother to hold me down without strangling me and the doctor himself had to give me my injection. Again, another tale I will not live down.

What do these stories have to do with anything? Well, it establishes precedence. You see, on the merry-go-round, ,that one little spot of blood was a river in my eyes. The dentist, it was poky things in my mouth. But not the small poky things - in my eyes, it was as if he took a cattle prod in his hands and said "Now, open wiiiiiide!". The needles from the doctor? Size of straws.

You see - in my eyes, ,everything is bigger and larger than life. It's good in many ways, but usually not.

So - when I was told it was a cyst, and there was no PG test done, I FREAKED OUT because that was exactly the same thing they told me 4 years ago. And that was bad. Also - my vague pain suddenly morphed into this obnoxious ache and the cyst which I suspect to be the size of a penny, ,transformed into something the size of a softball. See? Everything bigger in my eyes.

So - today I got to the doctors, and the nurse who ushered me in was new and we chatted amiably about the book I am reading currently (It's the size of a very large doorstop - about three bricks*) and various other things. She's really super nice. And then she mentioned the phone call. Whereupon a kind of stilted conversation ensued:
"I'm glad you are here today - I'm sorry about the appointment"
"Oh, that was you?"
"Yeah... I'm new and I just had a piece of paper and what they told me and...."
"I'm sorry too - I was kind of in freak out mode because I didn't want what happened before... and the blood tests.... and I need that test...."
"Yeah, I know. I completely understand. It wouldn't be good..."
"No.... it wouldn't. Not at all, I just need to know that one thing....."
"well I'm glad you are here today and the doctor can see you"
"Thanks! I am too..."
"Well, you're here now so.... I'm glad! The doctor will see you shortly"

The doctor came in, and re-assured my doubts that I would have to dub him Dr. MBAI. It turns out that he DID order the tests I needed and all is clear. As soon as he told me that - the softball in my pelvis shrank to the size of a pea and all the pain went away. Okay I'm lying - it still aches, but suddenly it's tolerable. I even asked him about some lingering pain in my shoulder - whether it was normal (It is) and he remembered right away and even remembered exactly where I told him it hurt - a year ago (without looking at the charts) so I have now dubbed him Dr. SG (Smart Guy).

So - I do apologize for freaking out - but as you can see, it's just in my nature.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh glad to hear that everything is okay. I do remember those incidences you mentioned. I can also add one more.... The medical dictionary??... I finally had to hide it because you had every desease in the book... litterally. Love yoou, MOM

10/13/2005 11:22:00 PM  

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