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Life is not about getting to the destination, life is what happens to you on the way there. 

Sunday, March 12, 2006

It's nearly midnight and I want to shoot my dog Joplin

Let me start at the beginning.... The dog has fleas. Again. They are driving her nuts - and they are driving me nuts. So we sprayed the yard and sprayed and vaccuumed the carpet and treated teh dogs. What does she do? She has a reaction to it. She licked her fur and puked and chewed her paws then puked then ate the poisoned grass adn puked then purposely licked the carpet and puked... lather rinse repeat.

So - okay, she's allergic to the stuff. We just won't treat her in two weeks when we need to respray and retreat and everything.

So - today we resprayed and re vaccuumed and kept her outside while we did this. No biggie. Other than freaking out by being alone (seperation anxiety - BIG TIME) she was fine. No grass eating, no chewing on the paws, no puking. Score one for foresight! We kept the house open the whole time to help air it out because maybe she can't take the smell of it or something.

Night came - dogs come in and she immediately begins licking the carpet. Lick lick gag, lick lick gag. So we make sure she can't lick the carpet and she licks the tile. Lick lick, dry heave lick lick dry heave. Shoot, that's not working. So we caged her to force her to calm the heck down and relax. Now she's not licking and heaving or chewing and puking - she's pacing and barking. Pace pace, scratch Bark bark bark. Pace pace, bark bark bark. Scratch scratch bark bark bark. Let her out and she will lick the carpet to make herself dry heave. Cage her and she's NOISY. We tried taking her outside, but she's not interested in poo-ing or potty... she's eating the grass that was sprayed. She avoids the stuff that wasn't sprayed - she eats the sprayed stuff! Green puke is just freakishly gross and besides taht - it's poisoned! She can't eat it.

I think the dog WANTS to puke. Well maybe she doesn't - maybe it's like doggy weed or something. She tried it and now she's hooked and jonesing for another "hit".

Well, this dealer has had it up to here, let me tell you. I think I'm going to dope up all the critters, shave 'em all bald, strip out all the carpeting and pray to the god of fleas that I have banished them forever cause I sure as heck can't treat for them. I'm kidding of course. Or am I?

BARK BARK pace
BARK BARK scratch
BARK BARK BARK
Bark bark pace

She's been like this for 4 hours and shows no signs of stopping!

I need doggy valium. Better yet, human valium. Then she can bark all she wants - I just won't care.

AAAAAGH!

**EDIT** I am writing this from the first five minutes of blessed silence that that darn dog has given me in 4 hours. DH and I had covered her cage - but it didn't help so we rethought it and covered it with something thicker than a sheet that she can't see through. She shut up and I can still hear pacing and an occasional questioning bark, but she seems to be settling down. I hope she falls asleep and all is well in the morning.

**2nd Edit** She's back to barking again. I don't think I will be getting any sleep tonight. Bark Bark shuffle, Bark Bark growl, bark bark pace. It's never going to end. There's no way I'm letting her out while I sleep. I don't need her special carpet treatment. I don't need the results of the special carpet treatment. I wonder if I slip her a couple benadryl in some cheese she will get sleepy and stop freaking out?

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You could call the vet and get a tranquilizer for her. or put her out in the garage so you don't have to listen to her. She may want water, Rosie licks the carpet when she wants water. Anyway, hope you got some sleep. Love you, MOM

3/15/2006 11:10:00 AM  
Blogger kstorm said...

I had a dog die of flea sprays a number of years ago - his kidneys were knocked out and just never recovered.

Now when we have fleas I use diatomaceous earth. NOT the kind you use for a pool filter - get the food grade. I used to get it from a health food store when I lived in Mass. but now I get it on-line. One place that sells it is : http://www.dirtworks.net/DiatomaceousEarth.html

You sprinkle it around the house and on the animal - it works by sticking to the fleas and sucking the moisture out of them. I once had a horrible infestation fo cat fleas- so bad that when you walked across the carper you could see them jumping on your legs. Gross! And this stuff worked - I sprinkled it down left it a day or so and then vacummed it up. Then did it again in a week or so just to be sure.

3/16/2006 08:42:00 AM  
Blogger Cate said...

I know this is serious and I feel sorry for your family having to deal with the fleas and all, BUT the way you told it was a really good read...funny and gross but very interesting.

And thanks to kstorm for the info about the diatomaceous earth. That sound like something I need to file away for future reference.

3/20/2006 09:20:00 AM  

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